Lonliness speaks through my smile
It seems the darkest lullaby
Lul-lu-lu-lu-lu-lu- luh
Lul-lu-lu-lu-lu- luh
I call a 5150 on myself
That’s how you know I need help
I call a 5150 on myself
That’s how you know I need help
Tears of a fallen soldier rolling down my face, one hand sticking out of my grave
The whole world left me for dead, Michael Jackson’s estate
But I’m too high I’ll never land
A river that knows it’s source could never dry, that’s why I had to cut out the middle man
Hate from all directions assassinating my character
I felt like Malcolm X in J. Edgar Hoover’s America
I said the truth and I paid for it, I paid for it
I got on my knees and cried to the lord I prayed for it
I had bounties on my head when my sister was in my home
Sleepless nights by the chrome trigger finger next to my dome
Contemplating self-destruction equating myself to nothing
Fixated on my regression, I felt like Benjamin Button
I collapsed in my depression I just couldn’t write for nothing
When I stared at my reflection all that I felt was disgusted
My confidence evaporated less than a man I was emasculated
I turned to violence to be validated
Violated probation again and again
My kin and my friends like what the fuck is up with you fam
Don’t you understand niggas want to fuck with you fam
But you keep fucking yourself and that fucks with your fans
Pardon me my nigga I believed the lie I kept it too honest
The pain behind yours eyes tells me that it’s not what you wanted
It’s hard to explain to the people standing still why you’re running
See I was running from the absolute savage that I know I’m becoming
Do you know what the fuck it feels like to wake up every day in distress
Pissed off at your self neglect so you just lay in your mess
And people depend on you, got so much shit on your chest
That you train of thought can’t seem to find a way to express
I found a notebook in my parents crib from when I was five
I went inside
It said I hate myself and I wanted to die, crying
I couldn’t even fathom a child feeling so lonely
So next time a nigga tell you about Vic say they don’t know me
I need to be loved, I need to be loved, I needed to the drugs
Cause I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t do it
I was going through it
Growing up I was a product of my biracial confusion
Neither black nor white
I guess that made me translucent
I crushed everything I touched and fucked every slut but I just couldn’t bust a nut
In my stomach I plummet into my dungeon down in the depths of my darkness
I’m stepping over my carcass
I’m coming outta my hatred, tried of my heart being vacant
I made a promise won’t break it,
I told my momma we’ll make it, I told my dad we’d gon’ make it
If they won’t give it to us we’ll take it one thing is true is my greatness won’t doubt I’ll believe it
I’m exercising my demons
For the last time
Pardon me my nigga I believed the lie
I can’t be too honest
The pain behind yours eyes tells me that it’s not what you wanted
Hard to explain to the people standing still why I’m running
See I was running from the absolute tragedy I know I’m becoming
So pardon me my nigga I believed the lie
I can’t be too honest
The pain behind yours eyes tells me that it’s not what you wanted
It’s hard to explain to the people standing still why we running
I was running from the absolute silence that I know I’m becoming
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