[FIVE HOMELESS PEOPLE:]
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are singing
On TV – at SAKS
[SQUEEGIE MAN:]
Honest living, honest living
Honest living, honest living
…
[FIVE HOMELESS PEOPLE:]
Can’t you spare a dime or two?
Here but for the grace of God go you
You’ll be merry
I’ll be merry
Though merry ain’t in my vocabulary
No sleigh bells
No Santa Claus
No yule log
No tinsel
No holly
No hearth
No…
[SOLOIST:]
‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’
[FIVE HOMELESS:]
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
No room at the Holiday Inn – oh no
And it’s beginning to snow
[VENDORS:]
Hats, Bats, Shoes, Booze
Mountain bikes, Potpourri
Leather bags, Girlie mags
Forty fives, AZT
[VENDOR #1:]
No one’s buying?
Feel like crying
[ALL:]
No room at the Holiday Inn – oh no
And it’s beginning to snow
[VENDOR #2:]
How about a fur
In perfect shape
Owned by an MBA from uptown
I got a tweed
Broken in by a greedy
Broker who went broke
And then broke down
[COLLINS:]
You don’t have to do this…
[ANGEL:]
Hush your mouth, it’s Christmas
[COLLINS:]
I do not deserve you, angel
Give, Give
All you do
Is give
Give me some way
To show
How you’ve touched me so
[ANGEL:]
Wait
What’s on the
Floor
Let’s see some more
No, no, no, no
Kiss me, it’s beginning to snow
[MARK:]
…She said, “Would you light my candle’
And she put on a pout
And she wanted you
To take her out tonight?
[ROGER:]
Right
[MARK:]
She got you out!
[ROGER:]
She was more than okay
But I pushed her away
It was bad, I got mad
And I had to get her out of my sight
[MARK:]
Wait, wait, wait – you said she was sweet
[ROGER:]
Let’s go eat
I’ll just get fat
It’s the one vice left when you’re dead meat
There! That’s her!
[MARK:]
Maureen?
[ROGER:]
Mimi!
[MARK:]
Woah!
[ROGER:]
I should go
[BOTH:]
Hey, it’s beginning to snow
[COPS:]
I’m dreaming of a white, right Christmas
[MIMI & JUNKIES:]
Follow the man, follow the man
With his pockets full of the jam
Follow the man, follow the man
Help me out, Daddy, if you can
Got any D, man?
[THE MAN:]
I’m cool
[MIMI & JUNKIES:]
Got any C, man?
[THE MAN:]
I’m cool
[MIMI & JUNKIES:]
Got any X?
Any smack?
Any horse?
Any joogie boogie boy?
Any blow?
[ROGER:]
Hey
[MIMI:]
Hey
[ROGER:]
I just want to say
I’m sorry for the way
[MIMI:]
Forget it
[ROGER:]
I blew up
Can I make it up to you?
[MIMI:]
How?
[ROGER:]
Dinner party?
[MIMI:]
That’ll do
[THE MAN:]
Hey lover boy, cutie pie
You steal my client, you die
[ROGER:]
You didn’t miss me, you won’t miss her
You’ll never lack for customers
[JUNKIES:]
I’m willin’
I’m illin’
I gotta get my sickness off
Gotta run, gotta ride
Gotta gun, gotta hide, gotta go
[THE MAN:]
And it’s beginning to snow
[BENNY:]
We’re outta luck, Alison, the protest is on
[All-skate part 1, simultaneously:]
[JUNKIES:]
Got any C, man?
[COAT VENDOR:]
L. L. Bean, Geoffrey Beene
Burburry zip-out lining
[SQUEEGIEMAN:]
Honest living
[JUNKIES:]
Got any D, man?
[ROGER:]
Mark, this is Mimi
[MARK & MIMI:]
Hi!
[ROGER:]
She’ll be dining with us
[JUNKIES:]
Got any B, man?
[COAT VENDOR:]
Here’s a new arrival
[VENDORS:]
Hats, dats, bats
[THE MAN:]
That is an ounce!
[JUNKIES:]
Got any crack?
Got any X?
[COLLINS:]
That’s my coat!
[COAT VENDOR:]
We give discounts
[MARK:]
I think we’ve met
[JUNKIES:]
Got any C, man?
[ANGEL:]
Let’s get a better one
[JUNKIES:]
Got any D, man?
[COLLINS:]
It’s a sham
But she’s a thief!
[MIMI:]
That’s what he said
[THE MAN:]
I said it’s a gram!
[JUNKIES:]
Got any B, man?
[ANGEL:]
But she brought us together
[BENNY:]
Which investor’s coming?
[JUNKIES:]
Got any crack?
Got any X?
[COLLINS:]
I’ll take the leather
[BENNY:]
Your father? Damn!
[PART 2, simultaneously:]
[HOMELESS & VENDORS:]
Christmas bells are swinging
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
In my dreams
Next year
Once you donate you can go
Celebrate in Tuckahoe
You’ll feel cheery
I’ll feel cherry
Tho’ I don’t really know that theory
No bathrobe
No Steuben glass
No cappuccino makers
No pearls, no diamonds
No “Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire”
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
No room at the Holiday Inn, oh no…
[COPS:]
I’m dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Jingle bells, prison cells
Fa la la la, fa la la la
You have the right to remain
Silent night, holy night
Fall on your knees, O night divine
You’ll do some time
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la la
[JUNKIES:]
Got any C, man?
Got any D, man?
Got any B, man?
Got any X? Crack?
I’m willin’, I’m illin’
Gotta get my sickness off
C-D, help me
Follow the man, follow the man
Follow the man
Joogie boogie, joogie boogie
Follow the man, follow the man
Any crack, any X, any joogie boogie boy?
Any crack, any X, any joogie boogie boy?
Got any D, man? Got any C, man?
Got any crack, any X, any joogie boogie?
[COAT VENDOR:]
Twenty-five
[ANGEL:]
Fifteen
[COAT VENDOR:]
Twenty-five
[ANGEL:]
Fifteen
[COAT VENDOR:]
Twenty-five
[ANGEL:]
Fifteen
[COAT VENDOR:]
No way
Twenty-four
[ANGEL:]
Fifteen
[COAT VENDOR:]
Twenty-four
[ANGEL:]
Fifteen
[COAT VENDOR:]
Twenty-four
[ANGEL:]
Fifteen
[COAT VENDOR:]
Not today
Twenty-three
[ANGEL:]
Fifteen
[COAT VENDOR:]
Twenty-three
[ANGEL:]
Fifteen
[COAT VENDOR:]
Twenty-three
[ANGEL:]
Fifteen
It’s old
[COAT VENDOR:]
Twenty-two
[ANGEL:]
Fifteen
[COAT VENDOR:]
Twenty-one
[ANGEL:]
Fifteen
[COAT VENDOR:]
Seventeen
[ANGEL:]
Fifteen
[COAT VENDOR:]
Fifteen
[ANGEL & COAT VENDOR:]
Sold!
[COLLINS:]
Give
Give
All you do…
[MARK & ROGER:]
Let’s
Go
To
The lot
Maureen’s performing
[MIMI:]
Who’s Maureen?
[ROGER:]
His ex
[MARK:]
But
I am
Over her
[ROGER, MIMI:]
I should tell you
I should tell you
[ROGER:]
Let’s not hold hands yet
[MIMI:]
Is that a warning?
[MARK, ROGER, MIMI:]
He/You/I
Just
Need(s)
To take it slow
I should tell you, I should tell you
I should tell you, I should tell you
I Should tell you, I…
[ALL:]
And it’s beginning to
And it’s beginning to
And it’s beginning to…
[MAUREEN:]
Joanne, which way to the stage!
[ALL:]
Snow!!!
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