Deep Routed – Ezra Williams

Something’s stopping me
Something’s shutting my mouth
Every time you say things first
I say them back but it doesn’t count

Deep routed
But I don’t remember why
Your hand on my lap made me shake
And on the train home I cried
If it’s what I dream I want
Why can’t I let myself have it
If it’s what I dream I need
Why can’t I let myself feel it
If it’s what I dream I want
Why can’t I let myself like it
If it’s what I dream I need
Why am I so scared to keep it
You asked if your hands were cold

I didn’t notice till you pointed it out
I felt my brain turn and fold
And then it was all I could think about
I like your skin
Just not on mine

If I can’t let you in
Am I wasting both of our time
If it’s what I dream I want
Why can’t I let myself have it
If it’s what I dream I need
Why can’t I let myself feel it
If it’s what I dream I want
Why can’t I let myself like it
If it’s what I dream I need
Why am I so scared to keep it
I’m only numb to the touch that’s not meant to cause pain
I don’t recognise the feeling so it just goes away
Am I scared of you or am I scared that I’m not
I’m lonely when you’re here I’m lonely a lot
Can’t tell if I’m killing time or if if this time is killing me
Convincing myself you’re lying and you hate me really

Is this how it is
Is this who I am
Guilty from a kiss
Rejecting your hand
Its always the same
Why can’t I change
Why can’t I change
Why can’t I change
If it’s what I dream I want
Why can’t I let myself have it
If it’s what I dream I need
Why can’t I let myself feel it
If it’s what I dream I want
Why can’t I let myself like it
If it’s what I dream I need
Why am I so scared to keep it
If it’s what I dream I want

If it’s what I dream I want
If it’s what I dream I need
If it’s what I dream I want
If it’s what I dream I need