Muffin Man – Frank Zappa

The Muffin Man is seated at the table
In the laboratory of the Utility Muffin
Research Kitchen…
Reaching for an oversized chrome spoon
He gathers an intimate quantity of dried muffin remnants
And brushing his scapular aside
Proceeds to dump these inside of his shirt…
He turns to us and speaks:
“Some people like cupcakes better. I for one
Care less for them!”
Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot
Of a fully charged icing anointment utensil
He puts forth a quarter-ounce cream rosette (oh ah yuk yuk
Let’s try that again…!)
He puts forth a quarter-ounce cream rosette
Near the summit of a dense but radiant muffin
Of his own design
Later he says: “Some people… some people like cupcakes exclusively
While myself, I say there is not, nor ought there be
Nothing so exalted on the face of God’s great Earth
As that prince of foods… The Muffin!”

Girl you thought he was a man
But he was a muffin
He hung around till you found
That he didn’t know nuthin’
Girl you thought he was a man
But he only was a-puffin’
No cries is heard in the night
As a result of him stuffin’