She was tan, she was classy From southern Tallahassee And her daddy had the Kennedy hair She graduated Vandy Old money and a hand-me-down Country club sorority flair Woulda been a good wife Woulda been a good life Couple kids in some khaki shorts She started talking ’bout marriage And I knew 3 carats Wouldn’t shine in my rusty old ford
Here’s to all my near Mrs. Give them all my best wishes And close call kisses that never came through Thank God I didn’t ever say I do Here’s to all the lost chances Last call romances ‘Cause if those near Mrs. had ever come through I would’ve missed out on you
She was sweet, she was mean From New Orleans, she tried to put me in her voodoo spell A wildfire raging A French Quarter cajun And her brother did some time in jail LA was pretty and New York was witty and Chicago got too cold for me I went all around the world For a marrying girl All the while she was in Tennessee
Here’s to all my near Mrs. Give them all my best wishes And close call kisses that never came through Thank God I didn’t ever say I do Here’s to all the lost chances Last call romances ‘Cause if those near Mrs. had ever come through I would’ve missed out on you, yeah Come on now, hey
Here’s to all my near Mrs. Give them all my best wishes And close call kisses that never came through Thank God I didn’t ever say I do Here’s to all the lost chances Last call romances ‘Cause if those near Mrs. had ever come through I would’ve missed out on you Yeah, I probably would of ended up something blue And I would’ve missed out on you