Pool – Adam Sandler (from “100% Fresh” soundtrack)

I got old enough now that I don’t take my shirt off anymore. I’m 51, 51 years old. [cheers and applause] So, I don’t take my shirt off anymore when I go swimming at, like, a hotel pool with my kids. I keep my fucking shirt on. I’m swimming, and everyone’s pointing and stuff, and like this lifeguard was yelling at me. “You can’t do that.” I’m like, “What the fuck is… I’m humiliated, buddy. I just don’t want to take my fucking shirt off.” He’s like, “No, you’ve got to wear a bathing suit, your dick is out.” I’m like, “Oh, okay. Oh, this is, uh… one of the fancy Howard Johnson’s. I got you. Fuck. Sorry, man.”