Psycho Street – Richard Thompson

A man sits down to write a letter, but instead he writes a book
The book begins, Dear Sir, I don’t know if you’re interested, but your wife is a whore…
A man gets on a train and proceeds to take all his clothes off
He begins to play with himself and he says
In my country, this is definitely not offensive…
A man pours petrol through his neighbour’s letterbox and throws in a match soon the house isengulfed in flames
As the neighbors jump from the upstairs window he films the whole thing on video
He plays it back to them later in hospital
Things have been pretty dull at home without you, he says…
A man pushes a lawnmower two hundred miles on his knees
To the tomb of the unknown gardener
Great One, he cries, I have done my penance, I bring my offering
Grant me, grant me, pest-free roses

Psycho Street, friendly people down on Psycho Street
Good neighbours down on Psycho Street
If you need a hand, need a friend, we understand
If you need a pal, we’ll be there, any how
Psycho Street
Psycho Street
Psycho Street

A man stakes his neighbour’s ct to the barbecue and turns on the gas
Now are you going to talk he says, or am I going to have to get nasty…
A man has an inflatable doll made that looks exactly like his wife
He murders his wife, dissolves her body in acid, and marries the doll
Three years later he leaves her for another doll…
A man hands his son a brick and says, son, throw this brick through the greenhouse next door
The boy does, the boy next door throws one back
It hits the man on the head and mortally wounds him
Ah well, he says as his lifeblood trickles away, boys will be boys…
A thoughtful woman sends her best friend a parcel inside, it says, is a free sample
Full body beauty treatment, but it really contains acids and chemicalls
When her friend tries it, her hair falls out
Her face is wrinkled and her body scarred
The thoughtful turns to her husband and winks, and says
Pre-emptive strike

Psycho Street, friendly people down on Psycho Street
Good neighbours down on Psycho Street
If you need a hand, need a friend, we understand
If you need a pal, we’ll be there, any how
Psycho Street
…