Sweet Hibiscus Tea – Penelope Scott

Here’s the thing: I can’t do anything right
Try as I absolutely totally might
The bones are melting, the skeleton is ash
The clavicle detaches and falls with a deafening crash

And I’m not your protagonist
I’m not even my own
I don’t know anything
I don’t even know what I don’t know
And if you look outside you’ll see disintegrating trees
The artificial way the sunlight bounces off the waxy leaves
My heart catches on every thorn
You’re already halfway out the door
And I’ve never looked so old
And I have never been so cold
And it is 85 degrees
I don’t know what I need

There’s lukewarm herbal mango sweet hibiscus tea
On the hot garbage pile in which I fucking sleep
The walls are empty, it’s so ugly
I could burn the whole place down
It wouldn’t catch ’cause all the posters are on their
Way to my hometown

And I am not your protagonist
I’m not even my own
I don’t know anything
I don’t even know what I don’t know
And if you look outside you’ll see disintegrating trees
The artificial way the sunlight bounces off the glitching leaves
My wet heart catches on every thorn
You’re already halfway out the door
And I’m so tiny and so old
And God it’s never been so cold
And it is 85 degrees
I don’t know what I need