“This Ain’t CNN” – Frank Zappa

[Ali:] I bin grad nei’ kimma, und do hob I g’sehn, da? . . .
[Stefan:] Ah, Bayern raus!
[Mike:] This ain’t the U.N., man!
[Daryl:] Scusate un po’. Io non ho capito un cazzo
[Mike:] Hey, yo man!
[Ali:] Versteh’ kein Wort, I bin jetzt in dem Klavier herinna, und’s klingt so komisch . . .
[Bill:] Die spreekt geen normal taal.
[Mike:] This ain’t CNN
[Moon:] Am I the only girl in here?
[Stefan:] Uh, huh . . .
[Moon:] It is dark and I am nervous . . .
[Mike:] Hey, hey, hey! She’s with me, champ!
[Franck:] Turlututu, chapeau pointu.
[Laughter]
[Daryl:] A me non importa da dove viene, a me non importa da dove sta andando.
[Ali:] Da kimmt ma’ scho rum in dies’m Klavier, gell?
[Moon:] Honey, I don’t like this . . .
[Mike:] Hey, yo, my man, my fists speak English!
[Ali:] I ned, I ned! Wenn I red, red scho’ bay’risch . . .
[Stefan:] Oh, God . . .
[Franck:] . . . you think that English is the only . . . each language in the world . . .
[More mumbling and laughing among themselves]
[Svoboda:] Bevor Ich hier herein gekommen bin, hab Ich ein Pastrami Sandwich gegessen, das war tierisch gut . . .
[Bill:] This . . . this guy . . . this guy wants something to eat, man
[Moon:] I understood “pastrami sandwich”
[Ali:] Gebt’s ihm ein Pony, gebt’s ihm doch ein Pony . . .
[Mike:] In the brochure, they said that there was a good room service here
[Moon:] They said 24-hour room service . . .
[Daryl:] Did they give you a number?
[Moon:] Just dial the operator and they can tell us
[Daryl:] . . . the right information . . .
[Mike:] I haven’t gotten an operator since I came here . . . excuse me . . . I asked you a couple a . . .
[Moon:] Can you put . . .
[Mike:] Excuse me . . . where’s the pay phone?
[Svoboda:] Pay phone . . .
[Mike:] Pay phone
[Moon:] . . . We don’t need . . .
[Bill and Ali:] Pay phone
[Mike:] How we gonna get the room service without the pay phone?
[Svoboda:] Pay phone . . . pay phone
[Franck:] Telephone de payer
[Ali:] De payer? . . . Ah – Ein Zahltelefon!
[Hermann:] Telefonkarte. Qualitat und Sicherheit aus einer Hand
[Bill:] This guy doesn’t even know what a pay phone is! What the hell is he doing here in the first place?
[Hermann:] Wir sind Deutschlands Kommunikationsgesellschaft.
[Ali:] Gestern waren wir, fruhstucken, mittagessen . . .
[Hermann:] 30 11 03 1 1 4 3 6, Qualitat aus einer Hand . . . Telekom.
[Mike:] Excuse me, we paid money . . . heh . . . to be alone . . . wit’ some privacy . . .
[Bill:] Well that’s just too bad. Uh, you could be alone someplace else
[Mike:] Hey, don’t give me attitude
[Daryl:] Well, I guess we’re supposed to move over
[Stefan:] Yeah, OK, let’s move over a little bit
[Mike:] You’re in my space, man!
[Moon:] Ow! Please . . . this is ridiculous
[Daryl:] Excuse me, no, there was a gun before here and . . .
[Moon:] Who? Did they leave a number we can call?
[Daryl:] Before these guys got here there was . . .
[Svoboda: (Laughs)]
[Mike:] Excuse me . . . Yo . . . Yo . . . you know where the phone is at, man?
[Daryl:] No, there was a gun here and . . .
[Laughter]
[Mike:] Yo, I don’t want trouble
[Franck:] If you want trouble, buy a drum, yeah?
[Moon:] . . . I know that this can all be worked out and . . .
[Mike:] Now . . . we don’t gotta . . . we don’t gotta go anywhere, sweetheart
[Moon:] No, but listen . . . listen . . . They told us we’d be alone and it seems that everyone is listening to us . . .
[Mike:] Who? This guy over here . . .
[Bill:] That’s right. That’s right, we’re listening
[Mike:] What are you, a tough guy? I’m tough! I’m tough!
[Moon:] Honey. Honey
[Bill:] That’s just the way it is. You can get tough all you want
[Moon:] OK . . . OK . . . let’s all . . .
[Mike:] Well, maybe we should try to work this out together, but I know I want my space, champ!
[Daryl:] What do you mean? You bought this space?
[Moon:] This always happens. I don’t understand . . .
[Mike:] That’s right, I bought this space. You got a problem wit dat?
[Daryl:] Well, you know, it sort of feels like my space. I don’t know . . .
[Moon:] You know what this feels like? I mean, yeah, why don’t we buy the swamp land too?
[Mike:] Nobody said nothin’ when y’all bought my people, right?
[Stefan:] Who’s having this loud voice in this little grand piano?
[Daryl:] . . . a bit out of . . .
[Mike:] N.W.A., rap, hip-hop, the new thing, “Yo MTV Raps”
[Stefan:] Sonate, that’s music
[Mike:] So who?
[Stefan:] Mozart, Alter . . . Mozart sach’ ich, Alter
[Mike:] I like Public Enemy
[Stefan:] I like Mondschein Sonate
[Mike:] I like Brand Nubians, Big Daddy Kane
[Ali:] Des klingt so grauenhaft, des mecht I fei nimmer horn . . .
[Moon:] Whatever he said, ditto. I don’t understand but . . . I . . . I . . . feel that he said something I would probably approve of