twenty-two thoughts on god – samsa

I read about the ark, but wonder ’bout where Noah kept the fish in

God must own a tempur-pedic, that’s why Christ has seldom risen

God was bored so Abraham beheld a vision he should kill his children then he almost killed him but then God was like I’m kidding

God sure asks a lot for someone who’s supreme and self-sufficient

I bet Christ’s apostles really were a group of twelve magicians

If God is good then why do kids have cancer cell division?
Truthfully, I’m more pissed off about my plasma television
That I prayed for but I never got

If organized religion really wants to solve conditions
They should stop peddling scripture, trade the bishops for physicians
Melt the steeples into stethoscopes, swap sermons for some surgeons and instead should sell prescriptions

I wish Christ was still alive to turn my water into Zinfandel

I’m confused why ISIS slaughters guiltless infidels

I wonder if when God is sent Fidel
He would toss him into hell or place the hard decisions
In his closet on a shelf

The Fall of Adam sucks and all as God has taught us very well
If God’s almighty why could not he just have caught him as he fell?

If I could meet the Lord incarnate I’d award him with a ribbon
Not as savior, but as heaven’s finest warden of a prison

If I were there when Gutenberg had beta printed newly minted bibles
I’d say wait a minute, you should shorten them a smidgen,
And for nonbelievers, make sure God’s coordinates were given

I wonder if you sin but pray it off, if all of it’s forgiven

I feel like God knew Eve would take it if he called the fruit forbidden
But just plays it off, like Jesus, dude, admit it, you’re omniscient

If Allah were on twitter he would catch some major flack

I like to think if you retweeted, he would pat you on the back

I like to think he outlawed bacon due to saturated fat

I like to think he too’s confused about the SNAFU in Iraq,

I like to think that up in Eden there’s a patch of purple grass
Where every innocent civilian gets a statue and a plaque

The Palestine-Israeli conflict’s like the longest game of tag
And with the bombers, it’s the wrongest game of capturing the flag

I wonder if the lord is cross that I do not believe in he
But more importantly, I wonder if the lord believes in me